Adland will kill us all!

This just in: Adland will kill us all!

And how apropos the news is reported from CHICAGO where at least the ad agencies seem to be dying lately. Here's the most recent word at the "will kill us all" website,

CHICAGO - The world is in shock as news sinks in.

"It's only a matter of time before adland kills you and everyone you know." said Dr. Paul Rathburg, a University professor who is the spokesman for the World Health Organization.

Contact with, or even being in the proximity of adland is known to trigger acute sweaty bellybutton, continuous, unstoppable gargling, and a deadly soup of bacteria called gumbo that shoots out of your nostrils.

"We know that adland needs little time to reach sufficient levels to kill," Rathburg said.

Rathburg said the first victim was a young man who had a web design job, and worked for a well respected university. "He was perfectly fine when he went to work," Rathburg said in a telephone interview.

"After about 15 minutes, he had a case of Nerf-ball like knee-protrusions and collapsed on the floor. The autopsy clearly indicates he died from exposure to adland," said Rathburg, who would not disclose the man's name or the precise place and time of his death for privacy reasons.